Tuesday, June 30, 2009

How to know if your girl is seeing someone on the side

There may come a time when you suspect something. Maybe you've had a fight. Maybe an old boyfriend is in town. Maybe your love interest has begun acting a little less interested. For whatever reason, you may suspect that she's seeing someone on the sly. (And yes, I'm writing this specifically from the Guy's p.o.v., because I'm a guy, and I've been through this. Ladies reading this may want to stop right now.)

Let's leave aside, for now, the whole debate over whether you should or shouldn't be jealous, should or shouldn't get mad if your lady is seeing someone else, and so on. Those are legit topics for another day. Right now let's concentrate on more practical matters. Let's talk about how you can know whether she's getting a little extra attention on the side.

Obviously, if she's "away" a lot or is ignoring your calls and spending much less time with you, that's a warning sign, but let's take that as a given.

Here are the things that have tipped me off in the past. (Yes, I am talking from actual experience now.)

Look in her car for trinkets, gifts, love offerings of a seemingly trivial nature but that sure as hell didn't come from you.

Look in her car and (if possible) her apartment for custom-burned love-song CDs created by a new "friend." Check her iTunes playlist to see if her musical tastes have suddenly darted off into the weeds. Have her car radio stations changed? Does she listen to different kinds of music now than she liked before? Don't laugh. I've found this to be a very interesting clue as to who's screwing with who.

If you have access to her phone bill, take a look at the incoming and outcoming calls. Are there lots of calls to a new number?

Caller ID on the cell phone -- same thing. Check and see who's been calling who.

The next time you come to her apartment, immediately excuse yourself and head to the bathroom. Is the toilet seat already up?

Does she take a particular day or night of the week off (and not want to see you that day), that she never took off before? Does she go out for lunch or go out shopping or [whatever] on one specific day of the week now? That's probably His day off.

Does she suddenly favor a new perfume? (Sure, women change favorite fragrances all the time, but you have to consider this in the context of the other indicators given here. By itself, it may mean nothing. But in conjunction with other signs of trouble, it could be quite meaningful.)

I know this is gross, but: Find the dirty-clothes hamper. Smell her undergarments. (You know what to smell for. Do I have to spell it out?)

Check her car odometer. Friday night if she says she's going to the mall with her best friend Sue, and you know that the mall is 5 miles away, but she comes home with 35 extra miles on the odometer and sticks to her mall-and-back story, you know something doesn't add up. Literally.

Oh, and one more thing: Try just asking her, straight out, to her face. Sometimes that can be the most effective way to get the information you're looking for -- even if she says nothing back.

1 comment:

  1. The last one saves a lot of time and resorting to nasty stuff like the gross one you mentioned. But then who wants the truth right away. Snooping and playing sleuth is thrilling sometimes.