Saturday, June 13, 2009

When she only wants to Chat

I met someone a while ago on Twitter. She tried to DM (direct-message) me and couldn't, because I hadn't befriended her, so she contacted me offline and we agreed to use GTalk to IM each other.

One night, we started a chat that went almost to the wee hours of the morning. It was nice, it was fun, it was great, but I thought okay, this is just a fluke onetime occurrence. The next night, same thing. The night after that, same thing. Pretty soon we were chatting an average of 2+ hours a night on Google Talk. Every, single, night.

You can't help but develop a fairly intimate virtual friendship after 10 or 20 or 30 hours of chatting. Pretty soon a lot of flirting has happened and you're signing off with "xoxo" and using words like honey and darling.

But in my case, the lady (should I say "girl" or "lady"? She's 30) lives hundreds of miles away, I've never seen anything but her online picture(s), and I'm wondering, Who is this person, really?

So naturally, I want to call her up on the phone.

But when I tell her this, she says no, please don't. I press her further, and she resists. She does not want to talk on the phone.

I considered the possibilities. Maybe she's actually living with someone and she's afraid her boyfriend will pick up the phone? Maybe she doesn't want to run up her cell-phone bill? (That's all she has is a cell phone.) Maybe she's embarrassed about her command of English or her accent? (She's from a non-English-speaking country.) Maybe she's hearing impaired or voice-impaired?

One by one I eventually ruled all of those possibilities out. In the meantime, though, I quickly backed away from the whole topic. I stopped asking if I could call. And I stopped asking why. (She said she just doesn't like phones. Um... right.)

I'm running out of room (and time) right now to finish this discussion, but I want to pick up on this topic tomorrow, so please come back and hear me out tomorrow. And let me know what you think.


  1. There is a large chance she is a guy.

    There is an even larger chance this is a scam. Most likely, she will claim at some point to have gotten into trouble with the russian mafia, her child is sick, or some similar story. She will need some money and ask you to wire it to her.

  2. @Anonymous: Thanks, but as it turns out, I've met her in person since then and she's not a guy. That's the first thing I checked, though! ;)

  3. Well, when I meet girls by chat and stuff, I find myself very uncomfortable to talk with hers on the phone. I only call by phone when I have some time knowing the person. Maybe that girl is like me and is shy or just like previous commenter says this could be just a scam.

  4. BTW, how did you manage to meet that girl on twitter? I find very hard to use twitter to meet girls. Share some tips with us! ;)

  5. @Anon : Ah, Twitter. Good topic for a post. (Thanks.) In my case, it was someone in the same profession who also tweets. There's a bunch of us who are part of a certain ad hoc professional group, I guess you'd say. We throw comments and ideas around. She was part of that group. I teased her about something (can't remember what). She tried to DM me but couldn't (somehow I had unfriended or not yet friended her). We connected via IM to exchange some kind of trivial job-related info. I decided to try to chat her after hours to see if I could offer any more help or info about whatever it was. Everything kind of grew organically out of that.

  6. I can't wait to hear about this tomorrow because this sounds like the very same thing with me, except replace twitter with Myspace. And the girl who doesn't like to talk on the phone, with a guy who doesn't like to talk on the phone and I'm curious as to how this turned out as it could help with my case.